Smart, Sexy, Sassy & Bitingly Witty

June 25, 2005

Ebay Buying & Selling Tips

Learn How to Search
Unlike search engine queries, Ebay has its on functions for finding items. For example say I want the Xbox game Prince Of Persia, but for fun lets pretend I now forgot the Persia part of the name. So now all I know is that I want an Xbox game with a name starting with Prince of…
All I do now is type:
xbox "prince of *"
in the search box and bingo, I get a list of Xbox Prince of Persia games.
Read this for more on Ebay search engine commands http://pages.ebay.com/help/find/search_commands.html

Find Reserved Price Auctions
You will be amazed at how many people just don’t bother bidding when they see the reserve price tag, most of times the reserve price is less then 10% of the item going rate which means huge savings . Remember however to place your bid in the last 10 seconds.

Offering To Close Early
A nifty way to save cash on items is by offering sellers an end bid early option. The key here is that you will have to find recently listed item (less then 100 views) and from sellers with fewer than 50 feedbacks. Try to keep your initial offer to no lower then 10% of the regular Ebay price, do an Ebay ended items only search and take the average of last 10 items to get the latest going rate for that item.

No more then two bids
If you are a pro on Ebay then you will mostly likely only bid twice on an item. The first bid is to take the item out of the “Buy It Now Option”, since you will be more likely to win the item at a lower price through an auction. The second bid should come on the last 10 seconds of the auction; note this maybe longer if you are on dialup. Anything short of that and you are really cutting it closing.

Know Thy Enemy
You can tell a lot of people by looking at their history, same is true for Ebay. Look at your follow Ebay bidders’ history to see their bidding pattern. You will be amazed at how many people keep their last bid to a whole dollar, meaning you only need to add a cent to snipe them in the last 10 seconds.

Find Low Feedback Seller
You can save a lot from buying from sellers with little or no feedback. But again the key is knowing your seller so you don’t get burned. Here is what I do before I place a bid, first I email the seller, asking him/her about the condition of the item. If he/she replies back then I check the email headers to get the remote ip address, I then go to a WHOIS database and verify the location of the seller. If everything is ok so far, I contact the seller through telephone to verify the item, its condition…etc. Remember that Ebay only covers up to $175, so it’s best to ask for insurance and always ask for shipping with tracking. Also I found its best to stick with Paypal as payment option.

Choosing the Right Shipping Method
I guess it depends on what you are asking to be shipped. If the item is non-breakables and priority is not a concern then I think USPS, UPS, Fedex all work, otherwise it will depend on the item type, priority, your location, tracking…etc. However I do encourage Canadians to use USPS on items which are under $20, just mark the package as Gift, and you won’t have to pay the nasty fee charges that UPS or Fedex charge.

Selling Tips

Always Include a Picture
I strongly suggest you to include a picture when selling items on Ebay. Remember however to upload you own picture, and not a copy of the product from an online store. In my experience bidders are more likely to bid on items if they see an amateur picture rather then a professional one. Also just to ensure the bidder that this is indeed my product I usually include a paper with my Ebay username & signature when taking the pictures.

Promote Promote Promote
I find I get the best bidders from the forums that I usually participate in. Advertise your auction items in forums, but remember no spamming. I usually allow fellow forum members a discount on shipping or allow them the option of local pickup. This method not only will gives you very good bidders but also ensures that you have a good fan base to pool from the next time you have an item on auction.

Picking the Right Season
Like in the offline world seasons is too a factor to consider when auctioning off an item on Ebay. I mean if you got a winter coat you should not auction off that item in the middle of summer. I strongly encourage fellow sellers to look at Ebay’s Merchandising Calendar .

Picking the Right Closing Date
Always try to end an item listing on weekend. I usually opt for the 10 day listing and start the auction on a Thursday so that the item closes on a Saturday.

Listing your item
It has been my experience to keep your item listing simple and to avoid the fancy html. In simple legible text state what you are selling, its condition…etc, use paragraphs if you must and remember to state your shipping, payment and return policy.

Reply to All emails
Reply to all emails, even from Western Union paying merchants from Nigeria. Just remember to enable the option that allows other bidders to read the email so that you do not have to keep replying to the same questions.

Increase Shipping Price
I have found that bidders are more likely to bid on items that are $0.99 with a $8 shipping charge then items that are $3 with a $5 shipping charge.

Ship Item Promptly & Properly
I always try to ship the item the next morning and always try to include a scanned copy of the shipping receipt. I have found that many bidders are quite happy with this policy and often times recommend me to their friends and family.

          

the puerto vallarta party 2005 - 10.18.2005 to 10.25.2005

guerrilla queer bar puerto vallarta party 2005 - 10.18.2005 to 10.25.2005: "this october, a plane full or fun guerrilla boys and girls will embark on a trip south of the border to participate in the largest guerrilla queer bar of all time. we�re hitting the beaches of puerto vallarta for one full week of fun! the big trip is a 7 night, all-inclusive vacation to one of mexico�s best vacation destinations. and it all has a low price that you will not believe! its going to be one heck of a group vacation. and alcohol is included! "

          

June 24, 2005

Kathy Hilton’s reality show debuts, sucks.


(PHOTO: Do note the woman in the back, who is even less entertained than The Donald and Kathy Hilton.)
Last night, carpet magnate (if there is such a thing) John Stark hosted a socialite-heavy viewing party for Kathy Hilton’s latest attempt to outdo her daughters in terms of name-degradation, I Wanna be a Hilton. Reading the less-than-kind reviews are always amusing and informative but, in the interest of time, we think this picture of Donald Trump and Kathy Hilton watching her debut sums up everything quite nicely.

          

June 21, 2005

M4M Dictionary

Swimmer’s Build (AKA swimmers built ?!): Term used to describe the physique of someone who has probably never swam a lap in his life. Generally means “I’m not fat, but I’m not ripped and muscular, hmm, I must have a swimmer’s build."

Beefy (AKA Husky, Former High School Football Star): Fat ass. The prevalence of these people are the reason you can never find size 30 slacks in a department store.

Jock
(AKA Joc): Someone who tries very hard to be manly but probably is deathly afraid of sports and anything physical outside of the Weho 24-Hour Steamroom. Most men who actually do play sports would refer to themselves as “Athletic”.

Str8 (AKA Stra8 and Str8 Acting):
Man who lives in a parallel universe where jonesing for cock is not considered gay. “Pump my ass and work my dick boy, it’s cool because I’ve got a GF.” These people are a bane to those who are honest about their sexuality.

GF
: A fictitious creature alleged to be had by many men in M4M. GF’s are most commonly known to be “asleep,” “shopping,” or “out of town.” Discussion of the GF is intended to bolster intrigue, as in “cool, this dude usually fucks chicks, but now he wants me” among gay men with low self-esteem.

8X5C
: A circumcised penis that is 6 inches long and about 4 inches in circumference.

PNP (AKA Party and Play):
Term used to describe the combination of a drug binge (usually meth or “T”) and sex. Emphasis is usually on the “party” as this is usually used as a low-grade form of prostitution, and participants usually will have a hard time performing sexually. Synonymous with transmission of sexual diseases.

Vers/Top:
Person who wishes to convey the illusion that you will actually get yours without having to jack off on your own. May suck your dick poorly for about 30 seconds before becoming a greedy sex pig.

Married:
Person who is intent on ruining not only his own life, but the life of a spouse and possible children through his patent dishonesty. So hot.

BB (AKA Bare Back, Raw):
“I have diseases that will probably kill me and you”.

Poz (AKA HIV+):
Person who deserves a medal for being honest about his potential to transmit a dangerous virus and is generally looking to have sex with other Poz guys.

          

The Deadly Sins of Gay Pride

The clouds have parted, the sun is shining, and sidewalk is glittering — it’s Gay Pride Week! But why, you must wonder, do The Gays celebrate the sin of pride? Why can’t they celebrate all the deadly sins? A suggested schedule:

MONDAY: Gay Pride - Start the week with the traditional, “I’m okay, you’re okay, but what’s her problem.”
TUESDAY: Gay Envy - Geffen as Grand Marshall while a bunch of working class mo’s try to figure out if what Geffen’s wearing is available at Century 21.
WEDNESDAY: Gay Gluttony - Power-bottom, crystal pig-sluts Unite! This one can be a masquerade parade as all will be anonymous, as in Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Sexual Cumpulsives Anonymous.
THURSDAY: Gay Lust - Just cover Fifth Avenue with black plastic, lube it up and let the fun begin. Sponsored by Wet!
FRIDAY: Gay Anger - We’re some of the best protesters out there. Bring out the signs, the banners, and, oh yeah, the whistles. Must have the whistles!
SATURDAY: Gay Covetousness - This one doesn’t need to go all the way down Fifth. Gucci, Fendi, etc. provide all this day’s parade needs.
SUNDAY: Gay Sloth - All that parading around makes you just want to order brunch in. Even the biggest mythological gay of all rested on his seventh day

          

June 15, 2005

Urinal Etiquette

I give you this little article because it appears some of you fools haven't got the balls to piss in front of other people in bars and clubs. So here I go, my very own set of rules for taking a leak in a public toilet.

Rules:
1 - Toilets are best used as early as fucking possible, the later you go, the more fucked people are, and you can bet they'll be using the toilet more.


2 - If a stall is free, always use it. The toilet will stink, be covered in vomit and shit, but at least you won't be surrounded by other people.

3 - The maximum time limit for urinal use is 1 minute. If you can't go, and feel that you may be about to exceed the time limit, then zip up, pretend that you have pissed already, and go back to the dance floor, or drinking area. Return in around 5 minutes.

4 - If a stall isn't free, use a urinal at least two away from the next person. The one closest to the wall is preferable. But leave at least one free urinal between you. Otherwise you'll either get a nasty look, or a smile. Either way it's bad fucking news.

5 - If there's no available urinals or stall, it's okay to be seen waiting. Just don't look too interested in other people. Don't smile, don't look like you're having a good time. Just wait. Quietly.

6 - If you're waiting, then already you're in your worst case scenario. So stay calm. Pray the first available urinal is near the wall (walls give you two directions to look in, and only one person next to you). If the first urinal is between two people, then you must remain calm and take your place. Relax and look at the wall ahead of you. Under no circumstance look left, or right, or down. If you can't go see Rule (3).

7 - If confronted with an alternate pattern of urinal-users, then you cannot be seen waiting, this would really make you look like a loser. Simply either do one of the following:

(a) Do your hair in the mirror, seem more interested in your hair than all other goings on around you. When someone finishes their business, take their urinal and use it.

(b) Pick the least threatening pair of urinal-users, and use the urinal in the middle. In this scenario, use the advice given in the latter half of Rule (6)

Conclusion: If you still can't face pissing with others around, then you're a pussy.

          

June 07, 2005

Customers Suck! The Customer Is Never Right!

There are times I become totally disgusted by some of the crap people publish online these days that I log out for weeks at a time. That is until I need driving directions or want to order a pizza and once again find myself wasting hours & hours clicking site to site.

My shitty attitude towards the web was quickly changed sometime in between what was intended as a quick & easy Google search and hour number 2. I stumbled across CustomersSuck.com and poof it renewed my faith in the creativity that is brought out in many people online.

CustomersSuck.com reminds me of one of my favorite Rants site BitterWaittress.com, which has been bashing crappy well know people for years now. You have have check out the shitty tipper's database, hopefully you don't find your name listed among those bashed by bitter restaurant employees around the country. These two sites need to share databases and see who wins the Worst Customer Award. You can get some fun stuff from cafepress.com from both sites as well.
of some of the earlier personal website online. Customers Suck! The Customer Is Never Right!

          



 
 
 
eXTReMe Tracker