Smart, Sexy, Sassy & Bitingly Witty

November 16, 2005

My complaint about Sparrow Restaurant

This is a letter I have planned on writing for some time, a letter that I feel is extremely important and one that undoubtedly must be heeded if we are to undo the damage caused by Sparrow Restaurant.

To begin at the beginning, Sparrow Restaurant's a psychologically defective organization. It's what the psychiatrists call a constitutional psychopath or a sociopath. I am hurt, furious, and embarrassed. Why am I hurt? Because it's easy enough to hate Sparrow Restaurant any day of the week on general principles. But now I'll tell you about some very specific things that Sparrow Restaurant is up to, things that ought to make a real Sparrow Restaurant-hater out of you.

First off, its supporters do not concern themselves much with the people around them. Now, that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this letter. So let me corroborate it by saying that Sparrow Restaurant says that it is a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose. What it means by this, of course, is that it wants free reign to engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts. Why am I furious? Because my aim is to rally good-hearted people to the side of our cause. The best example of this, culled from many, would have to be the time Sparrow Restaurant tried to bowdlerize all unfavorable descriptions of its vituperation's. And why am I embarrassed? Because Sparrow Restaurant constantly insists that the rules don't apply to it. But it contradicts itself when it says that it acts in the public interest.

In closing, we must work together to oppose our human vices wherever they may be found -- arrogance, hatred, jealousy, unfaithfulness, avarice, and so on. Together, we can make a difference. Forever and always. (parody)

This letter has been generated courtesy of
- Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator


- LOVE IT! How funny is this online complaint generator. Unlike 95% of the online generator popping up around the internet it doesn't totally suck. I have a feeling this puppy is going to see more then enough return visits from me in the near future!

SNAP RATING: 4
    

          



 
 
 
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